Then we all stayed awake and nominally alert for one extra week, to absorb all of the critical, life-sustaining political analysis.
Now that both the id and the superego of Pittsburgh are in almost perfect accord*, you can set about the process of knifing your friends in the back and embracing your former enemies with relaxed self-assurance.
Just not yet. Right now, you feel like wet socks.
Not only is the Comet sick, but multiple highly-placed political insiders have revealed to the Comet on double-super-secret ninjitsu background that they also are feeling ill.
Symptoms of this pandemic include feeling as though one is congested but not really, not quite having a headache, and feeling like one is highly medicated without actually having ingested anything untoward.
Our elders may in fact have been wise to arrange things such that critical municipal elections are held exclusively in May. It's really too dark, damp and chilly out there for vibrant multi-party democracy.
In the spirit of laughter being the best medicine, we present you with some livebloggery of last night's Democratic presidential debate, from the highly recommended DCeiver.
We also post it in the spirit of someone having complained to us that our own liveblogging was not objective or informative enough, to which we say, HAH! and, pthbthbthbth!
Part I: Tonight's Debate, Badly Liveblogged!
Q: Obama, what's up with immigrants? Oh, look at me, Campbell Brown, setting you up to talk about drivers licenses! Oh, deary me!
A: I will throw lightning at employers! I am BLACK ZEUS! Get out of the shadows and prepare for my stiff penalties!
Part II: PART THE DEUX!
KUCINICH: Yeah, I am against the Patriot Act. Because I can read. And this guy is owed an apology. I do not have a bunch of different positions! Except with my hot wife. Seriously. We do this shin-sei shin-sei stuff on the kitchen counter that is just AMAZING.
Part III: WHAT? THERE'S A THIRD PART???
CLINTON: Privacy is the new abortion, everyone! Spread the word! And vote for Biden, maybe.
OBAMA: I will not support anyone who doesn't believe in a woman's right to
* The Comet urges you to click each of these links, and then click through to each of the sponsors, or at the very least slip some loose change into an envelope and mail it to The City Paper, 650 Smithfield St, Suite 2200, Pgh PA 15222. If you happen to read the articles, we'd just like to comment that Potter and maybe McIntire might both be selling shares of Bill Peduto a little prematurely. They don't even own shares of Doug Shields, which is probably a mistake in itself, but we at the Comet are interpreting Peduto's comment, "If I run for mayor in 2009, I'll run without a net" as "I'm running in 2009, and you'd better stay out of my way, or I'll take the whole reform movement (such as it is) down with me." We have no illusions about Bill's ability to carry the south any better than Lincoln, but we do respect his demonstrated ability to suck votes in a 3-way race, and he's probably crazy enough to carry out his threat just from sheer intransigence. The whole "retirement bout" concept might actually be good enough to accomplish the de-wussification he so sorely requires after his episode of "political cowardice." Also, the charge could be easily leveled against Lamb (if he runs) that he hasn't held the job long enough to make an imprint in his office chair. Finally (for now), we recall someone having written something about Bill knowing more and bs'ing less than any other local pol, and that should count for something.