Thursday, August 20, 2009

PittGirl Turns Into Real Girl***

First of all, for those of you that JUST CAN'T FREAKING STAND IT that a blogger is interesting to some people and therefore occasionally merits a bit of news coverage: HA!

She is not KDKA-TV newsman Ken Rice. As PittGirl's popularity rose, so did blogosphere speculation about her identity — including conspiracy theories suggesting Rice as author. (Trib, Carl Prine)

As an avid theorist of all kinds, I insist this phrase "conspiracy theory" be reigned in now, particularly as it incessantly applies to blogs. If PittGirl did happen to be Ken Rice, that would have made it a conspiracy comprising Rice and ... ?

Early yesterday, however, Montanez returned and bared all, posting a picture of herself staring at a pigeon in Market Square. (ibid)

Staring at a pigeon while holding a giant honking knife. It took me several viewings to notice that.

Zober and Ravenstahl were in a forgiving mood yesterday. "In the interest of moving Pittsburgh forward, Dread Lord Zober and I have decided to let bygones be bygones and let this one slide. And that's church," Ravenstahl said in a statement. (ibid)

Let this one slide, as in, Mind your p's and q's from here on out, Your Royal Worshipfulness, it would be a shame if we suddenly remembered to enforce Building Ordinance 20X6.17.7.D at Las Velas.


I also have to believe that the City's most recent press release, COMPREHENSIVE CITY-OWNED FACILITIES STUDY MOVING FORWARD, is some kind of tribute on the part of the Press Office.

**-UPDATE: And just like that, the real world kicks her in the teeth... (That's Church)


Done and done.

Both of today's news articles lead off prominently with the fact that she is a mother of two. She wrote in her introductory blog post that she's not going to become a Mommy Blogger, and having skimmed over that portion in my first reading, my own comment mentioned that she'd better not turn into a Mommy Blogger. I think this means she's destined to be a Mommy Blogger.

She also wrote, among other things, that she will "be unafraid to take risks, unafraid to step out of my comfort zone, and unafraid, if events warrant, to once again call Ben Roethlisberger a stupid, gift-wrapped bitch (gasp!)".

Now, although Queen PittGirl Virginia Ginny Weasley Montanez has been blogging longer than I have, I've been blogging as a real life human considerably longer. And although that idea is a laudable goal, I'd so like to see her try. Sure, you can do it every once in a while, but the pangs of guilt and regret eat your heart out. Not because you fear blowback or retribution, but just because being mean seems so much more mean and heavy when you're not a character, but just you saying something.

Unless it involves nasty Gollum feet. Solid gold trumps everything else.

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