Thursday, February 22, 2007

Masters of the Pittsburgh Universe

Rich Lord of the P-G does the deed, laying out the status of the new regime in police officer secondary employment. Whether he acted more like Cringer or Battle Cat while doing so, will be left for historians to judge.

To the eyes of the Comet, this article contains new news. The city is proceeding with plans to centralize the assignment of all of the details at Steelers, Pirates, and Penguins games, and at various bars and restaurants. The duty, and the considerable perks, will be stripped from varying bands among police officers.

No mention from the Mayor's office on this continuation of progress.

Lord also confirmed that the cost-recovery program (by which the city would recoup lost wage taxes, recovering costs for equipment and administration) is still dead.

The Comet holds that the former issue, of deploying the security assignments, may have been paramount (and there may still be devils in the details). But the cost-recovery program is still significant.

Now it's time for the analysts to take over.

Will the Honzman be our He Man? Will Ruth Ann be She-Ra? Will Potter be our Man-at-Arms? Will Eric Heyl continue to play Orko?

We don't know who, in this alternate universe, would be the mighty and evil Skeletor. But we can tell you two things. Due to their mutual affinity for water, someone from the firefighters would have to play Mer-Man. Which would make Beast-Man someone from the police officers.


  1. Will someone please buy me a "Masters of the Universe" box set of DVDs, so that I can catch up on all these references and play some kind of a role in this extended metaphor? I feel so left out!

  2. Bram,

    The cost-recovery scam/program will need to be disbanded, as the dust settles.

    It is a criminal act for the police bureau OR for the scheduling officers to schedule these off duty officers, and it is a violation of state laws for these officers to work as a contracted employee of these private businesses. I expect that it is illegal for them to work in uniform also, as this seems to be a violation of fair trade law, where they are private citizens on a private job wearing a police uniform that would confuse the bystander as to who they are representing, the business owner or the police department.

    Someone, be it the Honzman, She-Ra or Eric Heyl may take this on, though I doubt if it will be before I file charges against the police department, the individual officers AND the Sheriff and his deputies, who are feeding from the same illegal trough here.

    Just call me the "GrantMan"!