Meditations on Barney

We got to thinking after our last seventy viewings of this NSFW-licious video, posted recently over in Junkietowne.

Like most white folks, the Comet is not entirely "at home" with the African-American community's double-standard in regards to the the n-word, which persists despite Jesse Jackson's recent hapless efforts.

Then again, we acknowledge that perhaps we don't have standing to complain, seeing as how throughout the last half-millennium -- um, yeah -- let's just say mistakes were made.

However. There is a long-standing tradition in the music industry of releasing two different tracks of albums: the original uncensored version; and the cleaned-up, radio-friendly, lame-ass version. Might we suggest third:

The white-friendly version. We would very much like to continue enjoying the full emotional impact of all the Motherfuckers and Fuck Your Bitches, to say nothing of the explicit drug-use references! All those phony lyrics, eerie silences, and cow bells on the clean tracks just don't get the job done.

All the same, we would prefer not to suffer a neurotic liberal aneurysm every time an artist drops the n-bomb. That word has become so integral, today's rappers are blithely rhyming n***** with n*****, time after time. You wonder how so many of them can boast of dope rhyming skills with a straight face!

This not a charity thing -- we'll buy it! And for you local artists out there, might we suggest that once you blow up, and can afford to put out multiple versions of your albums, the phrase "yinzer" is a respectable stand-in. Slur it down to "yizzah" and even preserve much of the flow. Give it some real thought.